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The five best giveaways of the 2013 Detroit Tigers season

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Not the Prince Fielder giveaway. I just like the fact that you can get a five foot tall head of Fielder and the fact that people want to buy it and put it on their wall.

Wednesday, we gave everything you don’t want and are going to lose before you make it home in the worst giveaways of the upcoming Detroit Tigers season. After our critically acclaimed performance, we move on to a much happier topic: the best giveaways of the season.

If you plan this right, you could get everything you need to make your own Tigers den (see what I did there?) for free (excluding the cost of attending all these games and all the time you waste getting to the ball park early to be one of the first 10,000 fans).

No. 5 Shirt off our back giveaway, September 22 vs. White Sox: This is probably the most valuable giveaway of the season, but you’re going to have to be aggressive, and probably have a man on the inside to win the giveaway. My understanding, which may be completely wrong, is that the players are giving you their jerseys after their final regular season game. By this time there’s going to be 40 players for about 19,000 fans. Mayhem is going to ensue. If you want it bad enough, you’re going to have to pull some Ocean’s 11 #$%^.

No. 4 Miguel Cabrera mini bat giveaway (all kids), April 7 vs. Yankees: While they aren’t particularly useful, mini bats are always cool. ALWAYS. And you’re guaranteed to get one as long as you have a child or a really short, really young-looking friend.

No. 3 Paws cereal bowl (all kids), June 9 vs. Indians: You’ll definitely get some use out of this and its another item that you’re guaranteed to get as long as you bring a child. This bowl will be a staple in your house for years to come.

Long after your kids go to college, it will be midnight and you’ll be mindlessly stuffing your face with some kind of fruit/chips/cookies/cereal and realize you’re eating out of the Paws cereal bowl you got back in 2013. A brief smile will fall over your face. Don’t neglect your future self this happiness.

No. 2 Justin Verlander “Shut ‘Em Down” Fathead (first 10,000 fans), August 30 vs. Indians

No. 1 Prince Fielder Detroit Stars Fathead (first 10,000 fans), April 27 vs. Braves 

The Fatheads will be the crowning jewel of your man cave. They’re big, they’re nice, and — as long as you put don’t put them in your dining room — are fun to have on your wall. The “Shut ‘Em Down” in ‘Justin Verlander “Shut ‘Em Down” Fathead’ raises some concern as an overly cheesy sponsorship deal (as opposed to a right-amount-of-cheesy sponsorship deal), but it’s a Fathead nonetheless.

If you can’t make it to both games, I would have to recommend going for the Fielder Fathead for two reasons besides the “Shut ‘Em Down”: The Detroit Stars uniform is a nice little twist, and Fielder gives you more value from a pure square footage standpoint.

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