I had this great idea for a post. I was going to examine what has happened since the Red Wings last lost at home. But as win No. 18 turned into No. 19 which turned into No. 20 I didn’t want to say anything. I had to play it safe. You don’t jinx it when you’re going for history.
Tuesday Detroit beat Dallas for their 21st straight home victory, breaking the NHL’s all-time record. You know what happened? Everyone and their mother’s dog started coming up with all these things that have happened since the Red Wings last lost at home.
It was three weeks (or something like that) since the World Series ended. Now spring training is starting. The Red Wings last lost at home about a month after the Tigers last lost at home.
Tim Tebow was just taking over the World. Now Jeremy Lin is.
Suh stomped on some fools. Michigan State played on an aircraft carrier.
But luckily, the world never ceases to disappoint me with its crappy jokes. Most of the things they mentioned are kind of lame. I’m here to give you the REAL facts about what has happened in the last 105 days.
First of all, what were you doing on Nov. 3? Exactly. We’ve all forgotten what its like to for the Red Wings to lose at home.
In addition, there are roughly 10,959 children born per day in the United States. That means there are 1,150,695 children who live in a world where the Red Wings have literally never lost at home. A million freaking people in this country alone.
The last time Detroit lost at home Kim Jong Il, Andy Rooney and Whitney Houston were all alive.
No one had any idea Joey MacDonald was still in the league. 395,603 more children believed in Santa Claus than they do currently. Another 13,000 caught their parents putting presents under the Christmas tree, but were talked back into believing.
The Lions were 6-2. 7,192 more people were still on reality shows and have been subsequently kicked off.
Chris Paul was traded, then wasn’t traded, then was traded to the Clippers. Blake Griffin had dunked on 582 less people and had 183 less pimples on his face.
321 people went to Vegas and put everything on Red. 123 lost.
182,000 people unfollowed Darren Rovell. Another 582,000 called him a douche. Only Richard Deitsch said it to his face.
Todd Bertuzzi made four NHL goalies cry with his shootout moves. Another three just cried because Bertuzzi looks mean.
I’ve written over 15,500 words on this blog alone. Of those words, 1,232 have been involved in 245 jokes. How many have you laughed at? I really don’t want to know.
But most importantly, and what just about the rest of the world ignored as they got excited about their inter-sport comparisons, is that in-between now and the last time the Red Wings lost at home, Detroit has gone 34-12-1.The streak took them from .500 to first in the league. It put them in the playoffs for a 22nd-consecutive year. It gave the city an excuse to pretend like it’s the playoffs in the middle of February. It added some excitement the malaise of games 40-60 in the NHL season. And most importantly, it gave everybody some fun.
So let’s stop arguing about whether it’s legitimate or not because of the shootouts and whether it was harder or easier for the 1929-30 Bruins do so and focus on the The best part? It’s still going.
And oh, most numbers (see: nearly all) are approximate, of course.