As many know by now reliever, avid Guitar Hero fan and all-around badass Joel Zumaya is headed to the DL, again. This adds another injury to an disaterous two and a half years where he has gotten hurt in every single way possible. While this announcement comes on an interesting date, right after he lost the game to the Yankees, I think it’s time to realize something. Maybe humans aren’t supposed to throw 103 mph.
Like 7’6″ basketball players and morbidly obese competitive eaters, 103 mph flame throwers just break down. Sure you’ll see flashes of greatness, catch a glimpse of what they could become but eventually their body will fail them. A foot injury will linger, type 2 diabetes will derail a career, arm issues show up that never heal. It doesn’t matter how advanced medicine gets, God didn’t make people to consistently compete at the type of level that is demanded in the professional sporting arena. We may be able to fool everybody for a little bit, but eventually God will win. God always wins.
There is one difference between Zumaya and those other two examples. He can change. Yao Ming will always have to run the floor. He will always have to lift off of his spindly legs and get his 310 lbs. off the ground and have his feet and ankles take the full force when he comes back to earth. Eric “Bandlands” Booker has to shove foods with high transfat down his pie hole, it’s the whole point of the competition. Zumaya however, can dial down his fast ball. He can go down to the minors and add another pitch to complement his curveball and new fastball. He’s only 24, he has time to salvage his career if the damage isn’t already done to his arm. Make him take a couple of years in the minors to learn a knuckleball and then he can pitch forever.
Sould anyone be able to do this consistently?
It will be the feel good story of the year when he comes back. A promising prospect who leads his team to the World Series early in his career is never able to live up to his early promise. He is sidetracked by Guitar Hero and injuries but stays with it and adjusts to the ever changing game to resurrect his career. It’s the Josh Hamilton story but without the cocaine and the born-again Christian part.
The Tigers can afford to lose him for a couple of years. They have done it the past two so they know how to play baseball without him. Plus they have Fu-Te Ni who is like, 100 times better than him anyway. Seriously Fu-Te should have the setup job right now, just take a look at the stats:
Ni: 2.00 ERA, K/BB: 9/1
Zumaya: 4.94 ERA, K/BB: 30/22
Give Ni a chance in the setup role and he will be able to have as many holds (still a fake stat in my opinion) as Zumaya. Obviously something needs to change with Zumaya because even if he could throw103 and not get hurt it isn’t working. A 4.94 ERA isn’t something you like to see from your relief pitcher. This leaves the Tigers with three choices, (a.) let Zumaya turn into the below average reliever he is turning out to be. Let him keep throwing 103 mph fastballs and be done in five years after his arm falls off. (b.) Let Zumaya develop a new pitch and at the same time preserve his arm so he can be a staple in the bullpen for years to come, or (c.) shave his pubic looking beard and hope everything works out. Just remember God is watching, and God always wins.
